Kids not listening to you? How to set consequences for your children that work
Children naturally want to push the boundaries and it takes stamina and grit from parents to follow through with punishments such as confiscating a child’s device or taking away their privileges.
As family counsellors, we hear many stories of parents who are caught in an endless cycle of negotiation with children or teens who simply won’t follow the rules. This is stressful and challenging. However, it is possible to establish a discipline framework that is not only easy to implement but drastically reduces parent-child conflict.
The four key steps to setting consequences that work are:
Understand why rules are not enough and learn how your child’s brain is wired to respond to firm, consistent boundaries
Decide on the rules before implementing the consequences, communicate these rules to the kids, match the punishment to the crime, use a ratchet system and follow through
Avoid common pitfalls such as making empty threats, parents not united about what to do, over-talking, backing down
Seek advice and support from a family counsellor who can guide you on a discipline plan that fits your family. We can help trouble-shoot problems and give you the confidence to keep going.
A longer version of this article was published on North Shore Mums. Read here for more.
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Cherie Marriott, Shweta Israni and Margie Mitchell offer specialist individual, couple and family counselling to help people get their relationships back on track. They offer targetted relationship therapy to help with communication issues, conflict problems, affair recovery, low intimacy, parenting struggles, childhood anxiety and ADHD, and separation or family blending.
The therapy at The Good Relationship Practice is discreet and private, warm and respectful, evidence-based and efficient. Clients leave each session with a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics, tools to improve communication and the confidence to move forward.
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